I can't believe that it's been so long since I've written! I can't even begin to catch you up on the last few months. For the most part, they were uneventful with splashes of excitement here and there. Before I move into 2011, let me tell you about my last encounter with Big Mac as I promised that I would fill you in on running into him. Let me set the scene for you: Santa themed pub crawl, about 6 hours in, 3 sheets to the wind, dancing, singing, and having a great time with friends new and old. At about the third bar that we went to, I was sitting with Sweet K at the bar. We had been joined by Guitar Hero as I will call him and his trusty sidekick. Sweet K begged me to tell Guitar Hero the story of my awful date with Big Mac. Not only was he shocked and appalled, he was laughing hysterically at the absurdity of it all! Who knew that later that evening, we'd run into Big Mac.
As I said, we were about 6 hours into the pub crawl and I want you to understand that this was for charity. We were boozing for a good cause. As part of the cause, we were given little trinkets to give out to bar going patrons not part of the crawl in hopes of getting them to participate next year. As we were preparing to crawl to the next establishment, I had one final candy cane left and noticed a couple sitting in a booth in the corner. They were cozy, cuddled up quite close to each other. I was obnoxiously drunk. I'm not gonna lie. I was loud and having a fantastic time! I wanted them to join the fun!
As I approached the table, I slammed the candy cane (which had spent most of the evening tucked into my partially exposed breasts) down in front of them and gave a quick spiel about how we were drinking for poor kids or something along those lines. The woman looked at me a little bewildered. She looked to be about 40. She had this bad perm that definitely belonged in 1989 and was frighteningly forgettable. It was only a few seconds before her date turned to look at me. All of a sudden, as he was turning his head in what appeared to be slow motion, or maybe I was drunk, I noticed those dog awful earrings that I mentioned in the previous post. I stood there for half a second as he looked at me and said, "Oh my god." "Oh shit." I replied. Then I turned to his date and told her to be prepared to split the bill because his ass wasn't paying for hers. I turned around and walked away. Big Mac's mouth was still hanging open as I exited the bar.
Guitar Hero was right behind me and so was Sweet K. As we walked outside into the cold night air, Guitar Hero asked me what the previous scene was all about. I explained that the story I had told him earlier, the horrifying scene full of disrespect and a total lack of human decency, Big Mac was the starring role and that was him. He laughed when he realized what I had just done and then proceeded to kiss me and tell me it was Big Mac's loss.
On a different note, the last few months have been quite tumultuous. There are less than a handful of people in my life who have been so privy to the 8th circle of my personal hell. You see, That Girl, made a big mistake and hurt someone very near and dear to where her heart is supposed to be. Her actions spoke louder than words and while she may have ignored the tyrant in her life for awhile, she's come face to face with a monster that she can't seem to defeat: her conscience. That Girl is taking some time to reconnect to who she knows she is, somewhere deep down. You see, That Girl, has had some very adult realizations brought to light lately that have been all but welcomed into her world. That Girl fucking hates growing up.
I realize that this blog post just took a very serious turn, but have no fear. Just give That Girl a little bit of time as she learns and tries to forgive herself for what she's done and she'll be more than happy to return to the land of the living. She's been working out physically and mentally in hopes of reinventing herself just a bit. Oh, and her ass is shrinking quite nicely.
That Girl promises to write more often. That Girl didn't realize how much she had been missed until she was getting her hair done last week (step 1 of reinvention... it's kind of like self-mutilation on way healthier). You see, while the multitude of colors were being painted into her hair, the wonderful hair artist she goes to said, "My husband told me to tell you to write another blog!". Thanks for the support everybody. Just remember to do something that you shouldn't every single day.
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